Ewan has become more mobile, which is good, but he has become very squirmy sometimes when he eats. About a month ago when his eyes started to be able to focus on objects further away, he would accidentally pull himself off of the nipple when his eyes were taking him in another direction. Then he would get mad that he lost the nipple. I don't think he realized that it was his own fault!
Occasionally when I put him in position to nurse because he has been fussing or seems hungry, he kicks his feet, arches his back and, fusses, making me question if he is really hungry or not. Sometimes it seems that he is not really hungry. Other times if I hold him and get his mouth near the right spot he will latch on. When he does latch on, I think maybe he has just gotten really cranky and is protesting his hunger.
Alot of the time I think he is fighting going to sleep. He will squirm around while eating and let go of the nipple to let out a little "Ah!" fussing sound, but then latch back on again. Sometimes that means he has to burp, but other times it just means that he is trying really hard not to fall asleep.
What I've learned is that babies definitely don't know what will alleviate their pains. He feels hunger pains, but doesn't know that nursing will help and fights latching on. He is tired and cranky, but doesn't want to nap, which would make him feel better.
Ewan hates the nursing cover
I try to be discrete when nursing in public and use a nursing cover, but Ewan has made that really difficult. When I put it over him he begins flailing around exposing me to people nearby and fussing loudly, making people look I'm sure. I guess he doesn't like having it over his face. It seems that if I don't use it people are less likely to notice what I'm doing! I have to wait to put it on until he is already nursing to avoid his flailing around.
I've nursed him in a lot of public places so far. I felt a little nervous about doing it in a restaurant. I would leave the table and go out to the car to nurse him. One day I was out by myself with him and I had no choice but to do it at the table. I figured: what was worse a crying baby or a nursing baby? Definitely the former! Now I am much less nervous about it. My husband is more embarrassed about it than I am. I'll nurse Ewan just about anywhere. The trick is to have clothes easy to nurse in. It can take a while to figure out what works for you.
I've nursed him in a lot of public places so far. I felt a little nervous about doing it in a restaurant. I would leave the table and go out to the car to nurse him. One day I was out by myself with him and I had no choice but to do it at the table. I figured: what was worse a crying baby or a nursing baby? Definitely the former! Now I am much less nervous about it. My husband is more embarrassed about it than I am. I'll nurse Ewan just about anywhere. The trick is to have clothes easy to nurse in. It can take a while to figure out what works for you.
Getting Ewan to sleep
I had no idea how to get him to sleep at first. When he was a newborn he usually fell asleep nursing. That was simple. But after the first week sometimes he would need to sleep but wouldn't fall asleep on his own. The doula (labor coach) that helped me give birth showed me a book called The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp
. It has great advice on getting babies to sleep, and also just calming them down if they are upset.
. It has great advice on getting babies to sleep, and also just calming them down if they are upset.
That book talks about the Five S's: Swaddling, Swinging, Shushing, Laying on the Side, and Sucking. These are the key, according to Harvey Karp, to getting newborns to be comfortable.
What really worked for Ewan in the first two months was holding him on his side belly-to-belly with me, his head in the crook of my left arm and my right hand under his butt, and bouncing him gently. I would do this at any time: during the day to get him to nap and at night to get him to go to sleep or go back to sleep after waking up. At night I always swaddled him. I used the velcro swaddle wraps by Summer Infant
because they are so easy.
because they are so easy.
Now that he is three months old, during the day, just holding him with his head on my shoulder and swaying back and forth works well, but at night he usually just nurses himself to sleep. Before I start nursing at night him I put him in a Sleep Sack because he doesn't like to be swaddled anymore. I continue to hold him after he lets go of the nipple (or I gently pull him off the nipple) and he falls asleep in my arms. Then, I lay him down in the crib. Sometimes he will open his eyes when I lay him down and I'll stick a pacifier in his mouth, which usually puts him right back to sleep. (Don't use a pacifier for babies younger than 6 weeks.)
Also, I recently bought a Sleep Sheep. It's awesome. Ewan loves the ocean wave noise. It helps drown out noises in the house when he goes to sleep at night and we're still up. Also, it's alot like the shushing noise that I make to calm him down when he is upset.
Babies get used to the sound of the blood rushing through your veins while in the womb. That's why they love loud white noise like vacuum cleaners and noisy restaurants.
To make the shushing sound, I take a deep breath in and breathe it all out as a loud "SHHHHH" then take another breath and do it again. It works great when he is in the car and gets upset. I'll jump into the backseat with him and shush him and rock the car seat a little bit. Sometimes it will actually put him to sleep. It can make me a little light headed after a while, though. On a recent road trip I brought the Sleep Sheep and so I didn't have to make the noise myself. The noise even worked to calm him after getting his two month round of shots. He cried for less than 30 seconds when I picked him up, held him tightly, and shushed him.
Babies get used to the sound of the blood rushing through your veins while in the womb. That's why they love loud white noise like vacuum cleaners and noisy restaurants.
To make the shushing sound, I take a deep breath in and breathe it all out as a loud "SHHHHH" then take another breath and do it again. It works great when he is in the car and gets upset. I'll jump into the backseat with him and shush him and rock the car seat a little bit. Sometimes it will actually put him to sleep. It can make me a little light headed after a while, though. On a recent road trip I brought the Sleep Sheep and so I didn't have to make the noise myself. The noise even worked to calm him after getting his two month round of shots. He cried for less than 30 seconds when I picked him up, held him tightly, and shushed him.
Non-nutritive sucking
Breastfeeding is a misleading term because babies do more than just feed at the breast. I noticed in the first few days of his life outside the womb that Ewan would nurse for a long time and nurse himself to sleep. Quickly I noticed that he was actually eating for only part of that time spent at the breast.
People cautioned me to avoid becoming a "human pacifier".
I read in the Breastfeeding Made Simple that it is ridiculous to say such a thing. Pacifiers were invented to replace breasts. The La Leche League website calls this non-nutritive sucking, and says that it is an important part of breastfeeding.
Apparently we had to invent two devices to replace the breast when breastfeeding fell out of fashion: the bottle and the pacifier. Breasts perform both functions. (It's very important not to give your baby a bottle or a pacifier for the first 4 to 6 weeks. For a great discussion on what to do during this time follow this link to the La Leche League website. Also, check out this discussion on pacifier usage.)
At the beginning, it was hard for me to notice the difference between eating and just sucking because he was just eating colostrum and it was difficult to hear him swallowing. Then, when my milk came in, it was easier to hear him swallow. Now, after three months, I can feel my milk let down, hear him gulping, then hear him swallowing a little, then he lightly sucks and I'm not sure if anything is really coming out or not.
A lactation consultant at the hospital taught me how to tell if Ewan was swallowing or not. If you listen to your baby nursing you will be able to hear a little click (sort-of) and a release of air through his or her nose. If you want to know what I mean, try it yourself. Glup some water out of a glass and listen to yourself. After you swallow, you let air out of your nose. Listen for your baby to do that and you can tell he or she is swallowing. It's a good way to reassure yourself that your baby is getting milk though you can't feel it.
I can feel my milk let down now, but I couldn't in the early weeks. The let down response is very strange. Apparently not everyone feels it, and it may feel different to different people. For me it feels like a tightness high up in my breast--like a muscle contracting--and it usually happens in both at the same time even though he's only nursing on one. I usually leak from the breast he isn't nursing from, which is annoying.
People cautioned me to avoid becoming a "human pacifier".
I read in the Breastfeeding Made Simple that it is ridiculous to say such a thing. Pacifiers were invented to replace breasts. The La Leche League website calls this non-nutritive sucking, and says that it is an important part of breastfeeding.
Apparently we had to invent two devices to replace the breast when breastfeeding fell out of fashion: the bottle and the pacifier. Breasts perform both functions. (It's very important not to give your baby a bottle or a pacifier for the first 4 to 6 weeks. For a great discussion on what to do during this time follow this link to the La Leche League website. Also, check out this discussion on pacifier usage.)
At the beginning, it was hard for me to notice the difference between eating and just sucking because he was just eating colostrum and it was difficult to hear him swallowing. Then, when my milk came in, it was easier to hear him swallow. Now, after three months, I can feel my milk let down, hear him gulping, then hear him swallowing a little, then he lightly sucks and I'm not sure if anything is really coming out or not.
A lactation consultant at the hospital taught me how to tell if Ewan was swallowing or not. If you listen to your baby nursing you will be able to hear a little click (sort-of) and a release of air through his or her nose. If you want to know what I mean, try it yourself. Glup some water out of a glass and listen to yourself. After you swallow, you let air out of your nose. Listen for your baby to do that and you can tell he or she is swallowing. It's a good way to reassure yourself that your baby is getting milk though you can't feel it.
I can feel my milk let down now, but I couldn't in the early weeks. The let down response is very strange. Apparently not everyone feels it, and it may feel different to different people. For me it feels like a tightness high up in my breast--like a muscle contracting--and it usually happens in both at the same time even though he's only nursing on one. I usually leak from the breast he isn't nursing from, which is annoying.
The first two weeks really suck
I was lucky that I read some great books about breastfeeding before I ever tried it, and Ewan didn't have any problems latching on. Even though I had no problems, the first few weeks were really hard.
I had a serious bruise on my right nipple and even had a small lesion. For the first three weeks it hurt really bad whenever Ewan would first latch on. I would brace myself for the pain and wince. I think he could tell that I was doing that because I would see him wince too. It stopped though. Now, it never hurts at all.
The lactation consultant at the hospital told me that breatfeeding should never hurt, but I found that the first few weeks did hurt. When I was pregnant I heard from some women that you should rub your nipples with a towel or something, but then I learned from the lactation consultant at the hospital that that is not a good idea. It is a myth that your nipples will "toughen up" after a while. My nipples now are still very sensitive and soft. Babies can get calluses on their lips from nursing but your nipples won't get calluses.
The first weeks suck because you are learning how to breatfeed while teaching your baby to do it too. The only things babies are born knowing are how to suck and swallow and how to find the nipple. They don't know how to latch on so they don't injure you. That's what you have to teach them.
My advice is too talk to a lactation consultant even if you think you are doing fine. They will ensure that you are doing fine and they can give you the really awesome hydrogel nipple pads for sore nipples. Lanolin is good, but it wasn't strong enough for me during the first few weeks.
I had a serious bruise on my right nipple and even had a small lesion. For the first three weeks it hurt really bad whenever Ewan would first latch on. I would brace myself for the pain and wince. I think he could tell that I was doing that because I would see him wince too. It stopped though. Now, it never hurts at all.
The lactation consultant at the hospital told me that breatfeeding should never hurt, but I found that the first few weeks did hurt. When I was pregnant I heard from some women that you should rub your nipples with a towel or something, but then I learned from the lactation consultant at the hospital that that is not a good idea. It is a myth that your nipples will "toughen up" after a while. My nipples now are still very sensitive and soft. Babies can get calluses on their lips from nursing but your nipples won't get calluses.
The first weeks suck because you are learning how to breatfeed while teaching your baby to do it too. The only things babies are born knowing are how to suck and swallow and how to find the nipple. They don't know how to latch on so they don't injure you. That's what you have to teach them.
My advice is too talk to a lactation consultant even if you think you are doing fine. They will ensure that you are doing fine and they can give you the really awesome hydrogel nipple pads for sore nipples. Lanolin is good, but it wasn't strong enough for me during the first few weeks.
Breastfeeding Laws
The National Conference of State Legislatures' website has a breakdown of all of the laws regarding the protection of breastfeeding in public and other matters related to breastfeeding.
I am excited to learn that the Patient Protection and Affordable Health Care Act signed into law March 2010 requires employers to provide break time for a lactating mother to pump her milk for up to one year after the birth of her baby. Employers of 50 people or more have to provide some place other than a bathroom stall, by the way.
It is Federal Law that your employer must accommodate your need to feed your baby. View this PDF file on the Department of Labor's website for details.
Forty-four of the states in the US have laws protecting your right to feed your child anywhere in private or public space. Awesome!
The states that do NOT specifically protect the right to feed your child in public are:
Idaho
Nebraska
Michigan
Virginia
Michigan and Virginia have laws protecting breastfeeding from public indecency laws, but that doesn't mean you won't get kicked out of a restaurant for nursing your baby at the table, though.
Nebraska and Idaho exempt breastfeeding mothers from jury duty, but not much else.
If you live in one of these states you should write your state legislators and ask for a law that protects your right to feed your baby in a public area.
If you have been hassled in public about breastfeeding, don't put up with it!
I am excited to learn that the Patient Protection and Affordable Health Care Act signed into law March 2010 requires employers to provide break time for a lactating mother to pump her milk for up to one year after the birth of her baby. Employers of 50 people or more have to provide some place other than a bathroom stall, by the way.
It is Federal Law that your employer must accommodate your need to feed your baby. View this PDF file on the Department of Labor's website for details.
Forty-four of the states in the US have laws protecting your right to feed your child anywhere in private or public space. Awesome!
The states that do NOT specifically protect the right to feed your child in public are:
Idaho
Nebraska
Michigan
Virginia
Michigan and Virginia have laws protecting breastfeeding from public indecency laws, but that doesn't mean you won't get kicked out of a restaurant for nursing your baby at the table, though.
Nebraska and Idaho exempt breastfeeding mothers from jury duty, but not much else.
If you live in one of these states you should write your state legislators and ask for a law that protects your right to feed your baby in a public area.
If you have been hassled in public about breastfeeding, don't put up with it!
Worries about milk supply
I recently read in Breastfeeding Made Simple that uncomfortably full breasts are not supposed to happen all of the time. Early in breastfeeding it's common, apparently, but it is not supposed to keep happening later.
I was worried that my milk production was going down and that Ewan wasn't getting enough milk. My worries were totally unfounded though, because he is still gaining weight just fine and having dirty diapers.
I discovered that I actually have an over-abundant milk supply! That's why I was feeling my breasts get so full all of the time.
When my milk supply decreased to a good, comfortable level, I freaked out and thought I didn't have enough milk. I had no idea that what I was feeling was actually normal, according to the authors of that book.
I've already been exclusively breastfeeding for three months and I still have so much to learn!
What it means to raise babies naturally
Humans are animals too, though we often oppose animals to ourselves as different from us. Since humans are animals, that means we are a part of nature. Nature must have something to tell us about how to live our lives.
But, haven't we pushed humans beyond nature with our scientific knowledge?
We use science to improve upon nature, right?
Health is the one area of our lives that can be improved the most through science, but it can also be harmed the most through well-intentioned, yet misguided, "technological advances".
I'm not a person that eschews technology or preaches that we should all move back to the woods. I grew up using computers, playing video games, and watching TV just like most people born in the 80s. I own a cell phone, drive a car, and obviously use the Internet. But I am cautious about trusting health-related technology because so much of it runs counter to human biology.
When it comes to having babies and nurturing babies after birth, science seems to have done some serious damage to a natural system that works much better than the artificial one we created for the modern world.
Raising babies naturally means that as a parent I want to embrace the natural system, which includes: drug-free child birth, breastfeeding, and "attachment-style" parenting.
In this blog, I want to share my experience attempting to return to the natural way of having and raising children. Mostly, I want to share my experience breastfeeding.
Bottle-feeding with formula (or the milk of other animals) is a technological advancement that has harmed the natural system of feeding babies. It is so easy to give up breastfeeding when it is not going smoothly in favor of this seemingly better, more socially-acceptable, way of feeding your baby. The problem is that the prevalence of formula feeding is what makes breastfeeding so hard.
Women don't know how to breastfeed because no one around them breastfeeds.
Apparently, "only about 25 percent of all mothers in North America even started out breastfeeding" in the 1970s and "most of them had stopped within a few weeks," according to Dr Jack Newman in his introduction to the awesome book Breastfeeding Made Simple by Nancy Mohrbacher, IBCLC and Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, PhD and IBCLC.
I keep running into people who tell me they quit beastfeeding or never breastfed their babies because of some issue: perhaps the baby would not latch on correctly (can be fixed) or the mother thinks that she was not producing enough milk (can be prevented, but probably was not true anyway).
I want to gather resources here for mothers (and fathers) so that more babies are breastfed longer. Breastfed babies are healthier babies, but they are also healthier adults later in life.
But, haven't we pushed humans beyond nature with our scientific knowledge?
We use science to improve upon nature, right?
Health is the one area of our lives that can be improved the most through science, but it can also be harmed the most through well-intentioned, yet misguided, "technological advances".
I'm not a person that eschews technology or preaches that we should all move back to the woods. I grew up using computers, playing video games, and watching TV just like most people born in the 80s. I own a cell phone, drive a car, and obviously use the Internet. But I am cautious about trusting health-related technology because so much of it runs counter to human biology.
When it comes to having babies and nurturing babies after birth, science seems to have done some serious damage to a natural system that works much better than the artificial one we created for the modern world.
Raising babies naturally means that as a parent I want to embrace the natural system, which includes: drug-free child birth, breastfeeding, and "attachment-style" parenting.
In this blog, I want to share my experience attempting to return to the natural way of having and raising children. Mostly, I want to share my experience breastfeeding.
Bottle-feeding with formula (or the milk of other animals) is a technological advancement that has harmed the natural system of feeding babies. It is so easy to give up breastfeeding when it is not going smoothly in favor of this seemingly better, more socially-acceptable, way of feeding your baby. The problem is that the prevalence of formula feeding is what makes breastfeeding so hard.
Women don't know how to breastfeed because no one around them breastfeeds.
Apparently, "only about 25 percent of all mothers in North America even started out breastfeeding" in the 1970s and "most of them had stopped within a few weeks," according to Dr Jack Newman in his introduction to the awesome book Breastfeeding Made Simple by Nancy Mohrbacher, IBCLC and Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, PhD and IBCLC.
I keep running into people who tell me they quit beastfeeding or never breastfed their babies because of some issue: perhaps the baby would not latch on correctly (can be fixed) or the mother thinks that she was not producing enough milk (can be prevented, but probably was not true anyway).
I want to gather resources here for mothers (and fathers) so that more babies are breastfed longer. Breastfed babies are healthier babies, but they are also healthier adults later in life.
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